I was having lunch with my brother the other day and, as we were waiting for the food to come, bro’ hears Hotel California at the radio and asks: “sis… what the heck are this songs’ lyrics about?” I’m like…”Dude, I only know the chorus, I’ll have to see the entire stuff to tell you, but don’t worry, I will when I have time and I’ll tell you.”

Well here I am, bro’!

So:

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air

- So the dude is on the road. Please observe the archetype of the motorcyclist, the isotopy of freedom: desert highway, wind in my hair, smell of colitas

Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

- as he was very tired and probably a little bit drunk or high, he had to stop to clear up his mind…at this place, he can eat, he can sleep and… have some sex

There she stood in the doorway;

- I was saying something about sex, right? There’s the lady!

I heard the mission bell

- that would be his Willy ringing the bell, get me?


And I was thinking to myself,
’this could be heaven or this could be hell’

- he’s definitely hoping he would get some ass, if you know what I mean….so he follows her

Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way

- it was dark, so she had to lit up a candle. They don’t have lights because they’re in the desert, remember?

There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…

- I had problems deciding whether he hears voices because he’s drunk or because he has actually arrived at a HOSTEL, bwahahaha! Anyway, the voices start singing.

Welcome to the hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the hotel California
Any time of year, you can find it here

- it was actually a tape, part of the marketing strategy….this would be the slogan of this deserted hotel’s advertising campaign.

Her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends

How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

- oh…I get it…an orgy…Oh….and she’s a material girl too. Moving on…I’m starting to think we’re dealing with a house of tolerance in here….yup…I’m right….Boys come here to remember the last time they were there…..some of them come here to forget about their wives.

So I called up the captain,
’please bring me my wine’

- captain is bartender or something…. The main character is thirsty, so he asks for wine. Wine, not water.

He said, ’we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine’

- bartender says he only has water because it is due to the desert conditions they don’t have vineyards since 1969. Pay attention to the word “spirit”…it’s tricky!

And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

- I told you spirit is tricky….I’m starting to believe we’re dealing with a haunted house man! Voices calling from far away in the middle of the night….Brrrr….

Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the hotel california
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

- same chorus with a little bit of twist… I think that What a nice surprise, bring your alibis can be interpreted in some criminal way. We’ll see later.


Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice

- lady creates beautiful atmosphere to entertain guest

And she said ’we are all just prisoners here, of our own device’

- lady is talking weird, therefore main character should be very careful

And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

- what did I tell you about the hostel man? We’re talking about mad people killing other people in a hotel in the desert, after alluring them with pretty ladies and mad orgies.

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door

- after shitting his pants at the previous mischievous murder scene, the main character decides it’s time to run…

I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before

- …so he runs towards the back door, in order to make himself unseen, but…

’relax,’ said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,

- …the night man (the captain) catches him and reveals their creepy mystery


But you can never leave!

-….and probably kills him too.

So….I’m aiming 100% at Hostel. Have you seen Hostel, bro’? Anyway, Hope you enjoyed it!