Doctor Said…


Category : Uncategorized

…I should get some rest.

Friday, right after work, I went to the ophthalmologist because I felt a lot of tension in my left eye. So I took my friend, D., and went to the closest clinic. “I know this lady, she’s very good”, D. told me. And I took her word, went to the clinic, paid for the consultation and went upstairs to wait for the lady doctor.

As we were sitting on some uncomfortable chairs, me mumbling and rumbling “If she’s late more than 15 minutes, I’m going after my money and leave”, D. says: “You know, I forgot to tell you something”. “What?”, I ask. “Well, don’t get scared when you see her.” I’m like…

Attempt to Murder – HS Memories


Category : Uncategorized

Ok. There was this teacher, Romanian Language teacher, very famous for the amount of homework, bad grades and severity, you know…stuff stuff. Everybody was running from him, everybody in the HS hated and feared him at the same time. Let’s call him Mr. D.

Mr. D. was not our Romanian Language teacher, we had another one, but Mr. D. Knew absolutely every student by name, class and stuff. You couldn’t do anything bad in front of him because all HS would find out and your ass would be punished (I’ll tell you another time what the punishment was, it’s funny).

So this day, 5 of us were skipping classes, but didn’t even move our asses out of the school yard, we just went on a bench and were telling jokes, speaking about other people stuff stuff, like girls. One of us just told a joke and all of a sudden all of us burst into laughter, leaning over the bench, towards the street, all in one time. Tough luck, ’cause the very same moment Mr. D. was passing by, in his car, with his daughter inside. So it appeared like we all jumped towards his car and stuff, you can imagine. Whatever, we didn’t realize and kept on laughing.

Next class, we were having a class with out tutor. At the half of it, there’s Mr. D. entering the classroom. We all shut our pie holes and waited. He started:

“Mr. Tutor, we have a big problem. Five girls in this classroom nearly killed me and my daughter. They jumped in front of my car and I almost lost control of the wheel.I want the five girls to stand up, NOW!”

You can imagine I didn’t even realize it was us he was talking about…what murder attempt? what car? where? He continues:

“The five girls were: Smith, York, McBurry, Jameson (fictive names, dudes!) and Dariana. Get up, you ill tempered students!”

Four of them get up, I didn’t. He continues:

“Dariana, you were there, I saw you, It was you who jumped first!”

I’m like “No, I wasn’t!” He’s like “Don’t lie, young lady, you were there, I saw you!” I’m like “no, I wasn’t!”

Tutor: “Dariana, if you were there, get up, say you are sorry and we’ll see what’s going to happen”.

Me: “I wasn’t there, I have no idea what Mr. D. Is referring at.”

Mr. D: “So you’re saying you weren’t there”

Me: “Exactly, I have no idea what you are talking about I’m sorry, I wasn’t there”

Mr. D. “We’ll see about that. There were five of you and I have four students standing up. I will find out who the fifth was anyway.”

Me: “Sure, no problem, it wasn’t me.”

Well, you can imagine what happened. The four had the grades lowered from 10 to 8. I got nothing.

  • facebook
  • Technocrati
  • delicious
  • stuble
  • Digg
  • Twitter