dr-evil.jpgOkay, so we all know about Craigslist…it’s in different cities in the US and you can sell almost anything on it…yeah, even yourself. :)  Now, I’m on the market for a new car, so where else could I look than CL [if you want to deal with private sellers and not (I-hate-)dealers)].

Hilarious or not (sometimes on the edge of crying) here are some ‘impecably’ written descriptions (and that’s only by looking at very few adds that I WAS interested - sorry, but if someone can’t use grammar properly, I assume they can’t sign their name on the car title either).

  • ‘…FAMILY’S GROWING SO MUST OUR VEHICALS’ - good for you
  • ‘Whant to sell because it is not convinient with baby carseat. If you want good car but don’t want pay full price like at diller store…’ - oh God, that poor child!
  • ‘Looking to seel becouse i want to upgrade’ - ay! How about upgrading to some new books?!
  • ‘a person can easyley drive it just the way it is , has a v6 engine atutomatic tranny and it’s a two weel drive’ - it’s called spell check;
  • ‘I am the second owner, and I am only getting rid of it because my boyfriend just bought me a BMW!’ - I’m trying to understand which one’s for sale here (?!)
  • ‘I lost my driver’s liscense for a first time DUII’ - myeah, TMI. Sure I’m gonna go meet him now
  • ‘the car runds and Drives flawlessly, handles sweet and does not pull ever. it gets about 23mph, the mustang is my daily driver and has absolutly no problems’ - where the heck do I start? They’re called capital letters and commas (oh wait, there’s a ‘D’ in there)
  • ‘am seling my VW GOLF 2002 with 89k 2.0L nice 18″ wheels heated seats all power windows tinted dvd player subs amp kenwood the car is in good condition with low miles and it runs good with no problems’ - if you can read that from one breath and not die, congratulations - u’r a mutant!
  • ‘This car is a super clean car, girl owner, the only dirty part is the tires, has a ipod input, so you can put your ipod in it, don’t really need a cd no more, 18″ wheels, April is coming… say goodbye to the rain, enjoy the top down’ - sorry girls, no offense, but that doesn’t make any sense to me (in any language). Did we learn about sentences in 3rd grade?

Okay, for God’s sake people (and my eyes too), go buy a grammar book if  the school didn’t teach you anything (except playing the trombone in the band or being a cheerleader/football player). 

Other recommedations:

  1. stop advertising that your wife is pregnant/saving money for the wedding/I just got married and the car needs to go (yikes! I guess you got a green-steaming black pot there) and that’s why you want to sell type of thing (we don’t want to know, really!);
  2. or that you are desperate to sell (if you are, that means you’ll never get the price you ask for);
  3. don’t write ‘huge gas saver’ just because the oil prices are the way they are, when the freaking engine is a V6/3.5l/AWD (unless we compare it to a tow truck);
  4. gotta love it when you state ‘I need to sell because I cannot affort to make payments anymore’, unless you want to let everyone know that your brain is rotten;
  5. if you post pics (yeah, there are some that don’t), please try to format them in the way that at least I don’t have to break my neck looking at them (upside down or side to side);
  6. and please, please do a spell check at least (you know, write it in Word if you remember you failed your English class)…it’s hard to decipher in some cases;
  7. don’t write the obvious (i.e. ‘the car hasn’t been in a flood’) - the fly just landed on your hat
  8. please cut down on that slang, man! - if I don’t understand what you’re trying to sell, um, well…you get the point…unless the ad is intented for gang members and da fo’shiza hood bro’z 

…sssomebody sstop mee!!