Inscrutable I

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An Inscrutable Interview with Iamamiwhoami – bullettmedia.com

I’ve been expecting for an interview with iamamiwhoami for quite a long time now, I even had the intention of posting some questions myself, but something prevented me from doing it. Probably the exact feeling I am having when reading the interview in bullett.

It’s sort of sad that they had to offer these answers. Because they still want to keep their misty auras, hence their answers may look gimmicky. I bet they always hope there’s an easier way towards understanding than explanation itself, but they know they need not kid themselves.

I don’t think there are too many things to say about this interview. I am more excited about the photos accompanying it, they seem to be more revealing and to offer the perspective of many things to come in the future.

This project has chosen not to confirm or comment on the creators’ involvement for the reason of letting their music and film speak for itself.

I suppose that we’ve been told once and for all that they do not wish to confirm or comment upon their physical identities. What’s important is the mentioning of both ‘music’ and ‘film’, which means sound and image are as important in the project and attention should be paid to both.

BULLETT: What is your bounty?
Iamamiwhoami: My mind, my dream that grows inside of me. I’m on a hunt to find the cure.

See, I think she just told us that the journey (hunt) is, or has first started as an inwards journey of self discovery.

Who is the small child you dream of?
Something for us to nurse and grow that thrives from me and you both. Is it a sad, sad sight viewed from afar?

A new old thought, pure, clean, innocent and beautiful as a child. It’s inside of each of us and we should protect it and help it grow unspoiled by any outside influence.

Do you think nature is at all allied with human civilization?
You can either accept or deny the task that has been given you.

It’s a given fact that the best way is communion – you’re born out of it, nature is nourishing you throughout your entire existence and it even accepts you back into it when you die – but you can either accept this or deny it.

Is purity precious to you?
I grow up to be just like that.

It’s funny that ‘purity’ is what iam would like to be defined by, taking into account all those unclean things in the videos. However, didn’t we always know it’s not about filth?

What is your relationship to the earth? To the spiritual world?
It’s where it all began. Who knew what I would turn into?

I definitely see ‘Who knew what I would turn into?’ as possible lyrics for a future track.

Have you fulfilled the circle of life several times?
There’s a hunt. Who’s standing tall? Someone who dares to lose it all.

Someone who dares lose it all, and multiple times. Who’s standing tall? JL on jonnalee.com is standing tall for example. So I guess one circle is definitely fulfilled. The hunt to find a cure is the hunt to find the appropriate art shape that would deliver the cure towards its receivers.

Is this a spiritual journey?
You keep pace.

Yeeees.

Is it important to define a boundary between the immortal soul and the body?
My worst fear is real life. When all this is done we can do the things we said we would.

This sounds so familiar, lol. The immortal soul and the body. Ah, I know… I was talking about it in T, with the Elizabethan collar reference? Alright… so her worst fear is real life, which means she feels comfortable inside this persona. For now.

Are you free?
Until morning forces us to climb back down.

Will nature conquer all?
You and I, we walk about, we know about the hole in the floor. I wanted us to live in times of bliss.

An essential message and a hidden warning. Nothing new. I like ‘the hole in the floor’ thing.

Do you resent science?
They guard their secret with their lives. We raise our children to the beat of its comforting pounding.

Who guards whose secret with whose lives? I could go into conspiracy theories for ages, but I won’t do that.

How did you first learn of your origins?
Sprung from necessity when something changed in you. And the purest of hearts let their spirits be consumed.

This is probably referring at the epiphany every artist has in his life, when an inside change is being produced and he decides to create in a certain way. The act of creation is a consuming process, mostly on a spiritual level. If I were to make an Alraune reference, the last sentence represents the spirit of Alraune consumed by fire.

Do you have the ability to love? If so, were you born with it or was it learned?
As I stay a little while longer I am damaged in the making but I force myself towards departing. I have to be the rascal taking all.

The loveless offspring question. A rascal. A brat, a bully, a domineering person, a charlatan? This sounds like the Alraune type.

Would you ever hang a man just to produce a child?
It’s how it goes.

Do you feel alone in the universe?
The farthest one can come too close.

No. Hopes again these words become new lyrics. I am even imagining the ; john CU approaching the clump MO.

Do you feel that animals are more sympathetic to your predicament than humans?
A heavy sigh then not a sound.

Well I wouldn’t say sympathetic or aware, but given by nature and unspoiled by humane traits.

Do you think you’ll ever be quite understood?
You see the overall of what we are.

That’s cute. So yes.

Would you like to be?
This want is making me soar.

Beautiful! To be. Which is to be born, to become, to exist etc. The road from I to Officinarum.

When you commune with nature, do you trust it?
Weakness, loss, and greed are the proceeds of your reality. Now we built a fort so strong to hold the ashes of your town.

Love how the dichotomy ‘my reality’ – ‘your reality’ is right in your face there. Weakness, loss and greed are things which define the subjective reality and we’ve encountered them in the linked videos of the pre-vids.

Do you seek revenge?
Listen to the words I sing that for this occasion I chose.

In return I’llyou watch it burn… but we will build it back down. So?

Can you be trusted?
You never had a true friend like I. Now I’m granting you all.

Who sent the hair, wood, and coded message to MTV’s James Montgomery?
There was need for a reply.

Teheh, and that wasn’t the answer bullett was expecting. But it’s good to know that it was a reply and not iam’s want to reach MTV for promotion.

What does a cat represent to you? A dog?
A pinion of labors men as capable as trust.

Nice way of describing the mechanics of iamamiwhoami. Hard working people, dedicated and reliable as trust, once gained. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving. That’s all.

Do you feel safer in nature or in the anonymity of cyberspace?
This is home. This is wealth. I can watch from a distance with the greatest view.

Why do you communicate with the outside world?
If there’s a want for something new you might find me at the start or where it ends for you. We know about the chance of more.

Why speak in codes?
What is expected, to carry you in my arms?

Because, truth be told, why would anyone question the ways an artist wants to express himself? An artist is not supposed to become an instrument of one’s healing, he’s supposed to find his own cure and share it. As for the one, one’s supposed to maybe empathize with the artist, therefore coming to use the same instrument/cure on himself, by himself, at his own risk.

Are you hesitant to reveal something?
This is the way we do things. Take a bite. Let it sink in for a new beginning.

A continuation of the above idea that this is the way they’re expressing themselves. ‘Take a bite. Let it sink…’ is actually a stimulus, a provocation, if you want, to just try it and experience it. It’s really sad when one rejects something without even trying it.

Do you live in “our” world? Where do you live?
I belong with my self-built grounds. We make a neat and tidy house but the walls keep growing thinner.

Hmmm… An ideal house is trying to be portrayed. Who doesn’t dream of such a thing? Anyway, this is clearly making the difference between artist and persona.

Where is ShootUpTheStation?
Heading home to where days are nights. Now I’m as good as can be.

Dead. Get over it. And don’t worry, I behave now. No more killings. :)

Why bring an outsider into your world to participate?
Who knows my world who shares my view?

To know my world and share my view, of course. It’s what we intend to do with each and every person who takes a bite out of us.

What was his purpose?
His methods were all tried and true.

He was a dependable worker, his methods were tested and proven to be reliable. He was the perfect container to pour our delicious amber in. He did such a great job becoming such a great example.

Who terrifies you the most?
The one molded like she’s shaped in size with anyone.

Death? MANDRAGORA herself?

Do you like men?
Who’s ready to take the fall for it?

I can only think of the fall from the roof top in the last pre-vid right now.

Are you searching for your identity?
Who am I when all I am is your designated wife.

A yes, the one who does the dirty laundry, washing your underpants and socks. There’s definitely a want to become more than a ‘designated wife’. ‘All’ implies boundaries, as in is this ‘all’ I can be? I suppose we’re in to discover more about who she could be in the future. Also, notice the dichotomy ‘designated wife’ vs. ’slut/prostitute’.

Is there anything of greater value than identity?
If my hands weren’t so very sharp. You feel better now?

At the end of it all, in spite of the ambiguity that reeks from this interview, we’ve been clarified some of the lyrics which have been bugging us and we’ve been given a confirmation of continuity.

The three images accompanying the bullett interview belong both to the organic and the inorganic. Two images show MO in nature. They portray her as a ‘designated wife’, as in a woman who keeps her house ‘neat’ and ‘tidy’. She washes white socks in nature’s washing machine and she dries her laundry on a 4 sided (sorry!) clothesline in the forest. Again, it’s the socks and the underwear she’s cleaning. The most ‘dirty’ yet intimate items. I wonder if there’s a direct connection to CU’s clothes in the plastic bag from ; john. There must be. But if she’s the designated wife who keeps her house clean, where is her house? Which are the walls she said were growing thinner and thinner? Could it be nature itself?

The box she’s holding in the second image definitely reminds me of the cardboard box containing strands of Alraune’s hair. But I am so feeling the desire to leave the realms of this story! It must be another gift. And maybe the fact that she’s holding it in front of her womb could symbolize it might be another product coming out of herself. I am curious of this box’s destiny for sure.

That definitely looks like the spring from ; john, only cleaner and more refreshing.

The third image looks more industrial (even though the materials it is made of are far from being that), it reminds me of the clump house/room. If so, is this the tidy house then? MO does seem to be the queen of this house. If you take a closer look at the image, you can clearly see she appears to be holding her T regalia items: the crown, scepter and orb.

In the close up of the image, we notice two plastic bottles containing a liquid. Or is it actually four bottles arranged two by two, liquid dripping from one bottle into another, just like sand in sandals. The image is constructed in such a way that, if reversed, it would portray the same idea, liquid would start dripping again and again and again, never lost, just measuring something.

See the BULLETT Full of Secrets teaser here. It contains more new images of iamamiwhoami.

Iamamiwhoami – Clump

39

Your head rises out of the pillow, surrounded by golden locks.
They fall around it lightly like flickering golden flames that awaken at the first breezes of early morning.
Your little teeth smile out from your thin lips, like the milky opals in the glowing bracelet of the moon Goddess.

smile

Clump1. – A thick grouping, as of trees or bushes; 2. – A clustered mass, a lump ; 3. – collection, considerable group. In biology, ‘clumping’ is a trait of plants and animals, describing a behavior in which individuals of a particular species group close to one another for beneficial purposes. Examples: coral reefs, ants working together, cells forming a body etc.

The fact that Clump has been released 10 days before the in concert on August 12th, at WOW, is a sign of clear communication from iam’s part. They have great plans with the telephone number on towhomitmayconcern.cc and they want to make it clear the concerned should call and leave a message. Also, judging by the lyrics, it is also a sign of warm invitation (Cannot wait until I see your smiling faces ) and… well… love.

It’s difficult to say exactly without the imagery a video would offer. However, with the possible meaning of the word ‘clump’ itself and the cover of the single, I can only assume this song is an invitation to be once again in harmony (in concert) on the 12th, at Goteborg. The bubble wrap has the aspect of a clumped formation of individuals, equal in intention and with the purpose of sustaining/supporting/protecting something. Fans supporting a performance. Clumps. People sharing the same interest (made of the same material – artistic wise) as iam.

I also assume that, if a video will appear this evening, we’ll also get some Alraune references as well. I have already spotted the dichotomy ice/cold versus fire which is rendered beautifully in the book, so I am really hoping.

While waiting for the Clump video to come, here are some approx. lyrics:

I never dreamed I’d need someone like you
All I want to fit is be the unity of you
But I like you
You see the overall of what we are
And see the sad sad sight of you from a fall

Why don’t you call?

Whatever made you into clump like you

The ice and cold that leaks out the cracks in you
Makes us as new
Whatever made you seem so very small
Like a tiny ant in life but large in thought

Who’s standing tall

Cannot wait until I get my hands on you
we can do the things we said we would
You never had a true friend like I
Someone to pick you up when you needed to
Beget it through
If my hands weren’t so very sharp
This broken glass that surrounds wherever we are

Wouldn’t do us part

paaaart

Whatever made you into clump like you
The fiery warmth that reeks out from most of you
Is burning through
Whatever made you seem so very small
Like a tiny ant in life but large in thought
Come stand up tall

Cannot wait until I get my hands on you
we can do the things we said we would
Cannot wait until I see your smiling faces
And our love will be misunderstood

And as the video is up, let’s see what it has to offer:

First of all, I’m so glad that we’re somehow back to the old times, with the concept re-exploring some of the old imagery we’ve encountered in the pre-vids and bounty videos. Action takes place, again, in two worlds: MO’s bedroom – supposedly subjective reality and the foggy meadow (as we’ve called the beautiful place portrayed in those eerie images) – objective reality.

Subjective reality presents MO (or is she?) on the toilet paper bed we’ve encountered in ; John. These images are very suggestive as they come to represent the idea of viewer – artist interaction. Because, hidden under the act of close sexual act, stands the impression the viewer is part of it. The gross plan and the facial gestures of MO, as well as the lyrics, come to sustain this idea. She looks straight into our eyes, she lures us in with her look, she basically makes us imitate her moves by sliding up and down constantly, keeping pace with the beat of Clump and here we are, we’re getting to the point in which, along with her, we’re being introduced into the story. We close our eyes and, along with her, we go far away.

I’m going to be straight forward and say that, again, maybe we should stay away from the vulgarity of the sexual act and just take the symbolism behind it. As in, only by experiencing the true levels of the sexual act is one able to reach high levels of pleasure, imagination, etc and only by impregnation can reproduction take place. Sexuality is a big part of the Alraune myth and it is connected to fertility and to birth and to offspring.

The objective reality – what’s going on in her mind during up and down, up and down – draws us back to familiar settings. First I thought we were going to go back to T, with the tall grass, then to N, when she starts walking through the grass. Everything begins with her standing on her back on the ground and it’s through her eyes that we see the surroundings. Those images are simply beautiful and it is like a dream we’re into.

Actually, maybe we are. A projection of the future.  Of a child being alone, lost, trying to find his way through the tall grass. Of a woman looking for something in the grass, walking slowly, for fear she might step on that something, for fear she might scare it. Of an emotional encounter. Of limited, soft touch. Of love and caressing. Of loss. Of despair. Of letting go.

The child in Clump is a small version of MO during in concert during the dance scene. If so, the feminine character touching the child’s head cannot be MO, but her mother. I’m going directly into Ewers’ Alraune and say that the woman is Alma Raune, and the child is Alraune, her daughter, a lump of her mother’s cellsclump. It’s somewhat difficult to explain, but I am sure many have read the book by now and maybe understand.

In the story, Alma is the prostitute used by the professor to give birth to Alraune. The first scenes portraying Alma in the book are presenting her as:

dancing, throwing her hips around, bending forward and backward, pressing her body against her partner in constant contact. It was shameless, vulgar and brutally sensual. (p. 49)

Long story short, Alma is cheated into accepting the prof’s offer by being sold a fairytale. She’s supposedly having the child of a king. She’s being promised her child would be a prince and would have everything she didn’t have. Here are suggestive snippets:

‘Naturally the prince’s child, your child, must remain hidden after it comes into this world. He must remain hidden until he is fully-grown to protect him from the persecution and intrigue of his evil family–Naturally he would be a prince, just like his father.’

‘My child would be a prince?’

‘Yes, of course, but you will not be permitted to force yourself on him and compromise everything’

[...] That did it. Fat tears ran down her cheeks. She was already in her role, feeling the grief and sorrow of having to give up her beloved child. She was a prostitute, but her child would be a prince! She couldn’t be in his life. She would have to remain quiet, suffer and endure everything–for her child. It would never know who its mother was. [...]

“I promise you that I will never press myself on him. He will never hear me or see me, but–but–”

“What is it girl?” he asked softly.

She grabbed his arm, fell onto her knees in front of him and buried her head in his lap.

“Only once–only once!” she cried. “Can’t I see him just one time? From a distance– perhaps out of a window?”

Again, this is very difficult to explain, without many of you not knowing the story in detail. But I do see the grief she’s feeling in Clump and I explain her running away from this child in this manner. And the fact that she does not embrace the child, but simply touches the air around her head and then her hair and then she disappears. She dreams of this, she hopes all of these will happen. The encounter, the touch, and her keeping her promise to stay away. However, it won’t happen. In the story, she dies at birth.

Another possibility would be that both the woman and the child are Alraune/MO. And, just like in the case of Y, when she faces the little boy (or so we think), this is the moment in which Alraune finds out about her origins, how she was born, how her mother and her father died and so on. Ewers describes the moment as being very disturbing for MO (think of ‘Like Hell’ during in concert and how she felt during that sequence).

Many say that the child is us, the fans, the viewers. If we want, I don’t see why that wouldn’t be possible. Those lyrics can easily refer to us and the forthcoming concert. It’s the first thing that crossed our minds when the track appeared on iTunes and we didn’t have the video. And iamamiwhoami has always been about communicating on different levels. I am sure they are communicating with us. Videos and lyrics is the only way to do it. Of course our hearts melt when she caresses the child and looks into our eyes so softly singing Cannot wait until I see your smiling faces/ And our love will be misunderstood. That is intimate talk. That’s her telling us we have a special connection not many understand. It’s great. This is how they speak to us. And it works. And that’s just it. That’s the way they know how to combine everything into outstanding new concepts.

I can explain the apparent simplicity of this video by the fact that it is meant to function as an introduction to the concert. I hope I am not going too far when I say those going to WOW are in for a special performance, something a la first in concert. That or we’re all in for another track and video in maximum one week. It’s also a link between ; john and whatever else is coming. An intermezzo, if you want.

I love the imagery in Clump a lot. I’m referring at the dream like images. They speak to me. They remind me of how EEH describes MO’s meadow in Alraune. Love the copper tones, they’re so… beautiful and peaceful. However, there’s also lots of gray and dark green which make me think of how a nightmare is portrayed. The texture of the vegetation plays an important role in rendering the idea of softness, surreal, eerie (the tops of those plants are very soft and move slowly in the wind, almost floating in fog) as well as the idea of coldness and humidity (dark, tall grass, impenetrable or difficult to make way trough and wet fog). We’re still on the realm of the dream, of the dual. Remember fog is the sign of another world.

Photobucket

Since it is somewhat clear that Clump is part of a bigger picture, and since it is clearly a continuation of ; john, I wonder if MO running away so suddenly is not connected with CU approaching. You know… because he was running, searching for something as well in ; john. This really makes me expect the next video like crazy.

I want you to pay attention to the last images in the video and at the sounds accompanying them. I see a sudden change in MO’s attitude.  She’s looking away and does not care anymore. Doesn’t make any effort. She’s on that bed only for a John to finish what he has to finish. She feels nothing. The realization that it was only a dream she was imagining. Can you guess what’s coming?

clump cover

LEs:

A couple of words regarding the aspect of iam’s videos and strategy I have mentioned on the YT board:

Everything about this project is experimental to the bones. Hence, the main characteristic remains the fact that the author detaches himself from his project. The purpose of this act is to enable the viewer to become a participant, as in to ‘fill in the blanks’, think, compare, analyze etc. There’s a shift in perspective in the sense that this ‘product’ is acting upon us not from the outside to the inside (we’re not being fed theories, opinions), but from the inside of our mind, thus seeking to show how reality is reflected in it (we create these theories, we think about them, we filter everything). That is the purpose of iam’s visuals. To me, this is quite remarkable. The battlefield is in us and among us, we’re not being described a battle.

Thing is that they are definitely trying to enlarge the concept of ‘experience‘. That is why suts was chosen, that is why we feel we’re in clump, that is why they’re using all these cinematic devices (the multiple pov, the flashbacks, the slow ups and fade outs) etc. The human experience is never limited and never complete and this is where evolution stands in as well.

Last, but not least, always remember there are three conditions of art: the lyrical, the epical and the dramatic. We’re part of the dramatic.

Purchase Clump on iTunes and Amazon
2020k audio review of Clump
clump’d by eineinmeier

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